Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Day One?

Does anyone really do this anymore?
I find myself getting yet further distracted from all of the school work I have procrastinated on.
Ah, the charm of A.D.D.!
I don't even have boring tedious work at the moment, I'm making a magazine prototype for my publication titled "Expremier Toi." Well, rather, not making. But it should be a fun thing. Ignore the fact that I'm illegally camped out in the computer lab of Karpen Hall, a building that was supposed to be closed and shut down roughly one hour and 32 minutes ago. I feel like I should be doing something more exciting than homework, like throwing a kegger or having passionate sex on a teacher's desk. Bummer. Maybe I should make copies of my ass or something? God, I'm lame.
My to-do list as of now is a death wish. It's the leftover pile of all the things during the year that you didn't want to do the most. It's really depressing.
So, here's a better to-do list for everyone else:
1. tattoo a banana
2. Give someone a ridiculous gift, i.e. a park bench, just one mitten, 700 rolls of toilet paper, or a super villain.
3. Go through a phase. Examples: being gay, adolescence, liking the genre hardcore, selling drugs, or getting pregnant.
4. Jump on your bed like a little kid. (Note: Probably not wise to do if you weigh over 200 pounds)
5. Start a collection. You can collect stamps, wigs, ex-boyfriends, old food in the refrigerator, souls, mannequins, enemies, etc.!
6. Decide which organs to donate in case of death and inform your family.
7. Volume test your neighbors. Find out at what point your neighbors begin to feel the base by adjusting the volume on your stereo until they start complaining.
8. Find a way of including the word "Vortex" in all of your conversations today.
9. Cut in line
10. Do something radical with your hair. Examples: the mullet, the halo, the reverse-mullet, the paige-boy, or the Egyptian. If you're not sure what one means, just go to your hair stylist and ask for it. SURPRISE!
11. Sign your pet up for a credit card.
12. Saunas are good for you, so turn up your heat to the max and indulge in some healthy sweating.
13. Buy your Christmas presents today and approach the holidays in total serenity.
14. Read a dense, page-long sermon in a deep Southern accent to someone at a random phone number.
15. Try the gallon challenge.
16. Write your famous last words.
17. Decide which of your toes you think is the prettiest.
18. Bake something naked.
19. Speak extra loud to people whose names begin with R.
20. Hand deliver your emails.

Add to it if you'd like! Happy Exam-Taking Time!


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